By Erin J. Murrin Marietta Daily Journal Staff Writer

We are all probably painfully aware of the statistics concerning the rate of failed marriages in this country. And no matter which number you've been quoted - 50 percent, 39 percent, 47 percent - it goes without saying that all percentages suggest a depressing trend.

Although there might not be a cut-and-dry solution to alleviate the number of divorces filed in the United States, there is a new way to go about handling a divorce that could very well lead to peaceful relationships between adult parties and their children.

Collaborative Practice is a friendly method of going through divorce proceedings. Most importantly, going to court is a nonentity with collaborative divorce.

"Collaborative Practice helps promote mutual respect between couples, and it places the needs of the children first, which is so important," said Bob Bordett, senior vice president with Consolidated Planning Corp., a financial advisory firm in Atlanta.

Bordett said collaborative was created by lawyer Stu Webb of Minnesota in the 1980s. Webb was struggling with understanding the reason why distressed couples couldn't simply sit around a table and problem solve their way through a divorce. From this, Webb discovered his idea was feasible, but would take more than just a lawyer to complete the process. Thus, collaborative law was formed.

There is no cookie-cutter process to executing a collaborative divorce, but Bordett said most people start with hiring collaborative attorneys. Each person has their own attorney.

From there, each attorney helps produce a collaborative team for each spouse which varies, but will sometimes include child specialists, a financial specialist and divorce coaches.

The teams consist of all the people necessary to make the divorce a collaborative effort.

"You have to think, there are two elements of divorce: emotions and finance," Bordett said. "This is a problem solving process that addresses those issues."

Bordett adds that collaborative divorce has a distinct advantage over traditional divorce in the amount of time spent on each issue affecting the decision of separation. In a court room, for example, each spouse's lawyer will air their grievances in front of a judge that knows little to nothing about the couple personally.

With collaborative, the couple is allowed as much time as is necessary to work out their differences as well as divide estates or assets and work out an appropriate parenting plan. This is all done peacefully with constant communication.

The only time the couple appears in court is to legally solidify the divorce. But by that time, all of the parental and financial responsibilities are worked out. And each spouse typically comes out more understanding of the other's point of view.

"This gives a couple opportunities for self-discovery," Bordett said. "The great thing, too, is that the couple isn't going through depositions. There's no pointing fingers."

An important aspect to collaborative is that it is, in fact, intended to result in divorce. Collaborative Practice does not advocate reconciliation, although some couples do end up back together - Bordett estimates about 5 percent in Georgia over the past five to six years - after completing the collaborative process.

Mark and Hannah Madans of Marietta experienced a small miracle when they decided the day before the final collaborative review meeting to work their problems out with continued counseling.

"The whole atmosphere between Hannah and I was so positive," said Madans, 39. "We were talking and working together."

After deciding the couple wanted a divorce, they realized they wanted to go through the process with minimal impact on their children, Asher, 6, and Eli, 7. The couple found out about collaborative law through a child psychologist.

"We didn't even realize that there was a process that could be like this," Madans said. "We all have that image from television of the court room fights and the arguments and the venom."

Madans said he and Hannah, 35, went with Collaborative Practice because they wanted their children to see that two people who weren't together any longer could still get along. They didn't want their children growing up in a fractured home, infected with bad relationships.

"Just that collaboration and that atmosphere make going through a divorce easier and more calm," Madans said. "You don't feel as divided. And that really sets the stage for what your child will be like and how they will view relationships as they get older."

The Madans family and Bordett both mentioned that although there are more "players" in collaborative law, the cost of the proceedings is actually less expensive than traditional divorce.

"(The process) was quick, it was fairly easy and the financial impact is much, much lower," Madans said. "It will actually leave you with more money for child care if you need it."

Bordett said collaborative law has yet to become mainstream, but he expects the rise in interest indicates its effectiveness.

"I think this concept is growing day by day," Bordett said. "Our very first annual forum had 100 people at it. This one that just ended was our sixth one, and we had 450 people."

The Madans attribute collaborative law to saving their marriage. And even if they had gone through with their divorce, they would have still been able to carry on like a family and do what was best for their family.

"If we had gone through the traditional process, emotions are running high, you want to get out, you make the flames of emotion and anger high and they are fanned by your lawyer," Madans said. "This process helped us both grow up as far as relationships go."

For more information about Collaborative Practice and a list of collaborative professionals in the area, visit www.collaborativepractice.com.